


[Podfic & Not!Fic] Miles O'Brien is Bad at Poly

by Anonymous



Series: Podfic Broken Telephone 2017 - Chain 1 [2]
Category: Star Trek: Deep Space Nine
Genre: Audio Format: MP3, Keiko is the instigator, Multi, Not!Fic, Podfic & Podficced Works, Podfic Length: 0-10 Minutes, Polyamory, Ridiculous Humans, Twitter Fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-04
Updated: 2017-08-04
Packaged: 2018-12-11 04:44:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 880
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11707068
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/
Summary: In which thingswithwings, ephershand, and cantarina headcanon how Miles and Keiko O'Brien figure out that it's a) okay to be into Julian and Kira and b) how awkward (and sexy) those negotiations actually are. Recorded by cantarina.





	[Podfic & Not!Fic] Miles O'Brien is Bad at Poly

[Download the podfic here](http://www.mediafire.com/file/u2rvqbyd6a5gk7b/%5BSTDS9%5D_Miles_O%27Brien_is_Bad_at_Poly.mp3)

(6.15mb, 6 minutes and 28 seconds)

 **cantarina**  
This fic is Keiko/Julian/Miles and is tagged "Keiko is the instigator".

Someone else correctly interpreted season 4.

 

 **thingswithwings**  
oh wow! yeah I feel like Keiko is constantly trying to convince Miles to sex other ppl w her and Miles keeps not getting it (Julian, Kira)

 

 **cantarina**  
Poor Miles, who clearly wants other people, but feels so guilty for it he shuts it the heck down.

 

 **thingswithwings**  
right!!! I think Keiko needs to be more direct. "Miles, I'm saying we should DATE THEM. Let's have SEX WITH THEM. BOTH of us."

 

 **cantarina**  
I JUST rewatched the one where Julian keeps insisting he likes Miles best and Miles just keeps saying "I love my wife" over and over.

 

 **thingswithwings**  
oh god, that one. And it's like. Miles. Those two statements aren't in opposition to one another.

 

 **cantarina**  
The first time they all have sex (or maybe the first time they could, but don't), it's because Julian and Keiko started making out and Miles is trying to be cool but is insecure AND turned on and doing everything but shouting WHAT ABOUT ME and it's sort of an escalating series of non-verbal dares for a while there.

 

 **thingswithwings**  
lolllll Uncomfortably realistic Miles characterization. BUT TELL ME: how does Kira fit into this?

 

 **cantarina**  
Miles, alone in bed with Keiko one night, after the thing with Julian is starting to prove that it can work. (Julian is probably off making another doomed attempt to attend another conference somewhere.)

Miles: You know, uh, Kira. And me. Before. Before Kirayoshi was born. We uh. Well, we... it's funny, it was almost like...  
Keiko: I KNEW IT

Miles: You were TRYING to get us together?  
Keiko: HOW DID YOU NOT NOTICE.

 

 **thingswithwings**  
I want a fic about all the offscreen times Keiko tries to get them together (in addition to the onscreen ones)

 

 **cantarina**  
Oh my gosh, all the dates she plans for them. Sometimes she stays! Sometimes there is a convenient excuse!

I hope they had a long talk about non-monogamy on Earth, because Keiko deserves that.

 

 **thingswithwings**  
do you think Kira knows what's up or like . . . ?

 

 **epershand**  
i assume they're both like CURSE THE WORLD why does this KEEP HAPPENING TO US and keiko is like IT IS NOT THE WORLD IT IS ME??????

 

 **cantarina**  
I'm sitting here literally laughing and laughing out loud XDDD

 

 **thingswithwings**  
me toooooo this image is too much! Poor Keiko. now I want to write her a 50 000 word OT4 fic like twenty years too late

 

 **epershand**  
UGH YES I would adore EVERY WORD OF ITTTTT. Keiko and her dumb husband and all the dumb people she tried to set him up with.

 

 **thingswithwings**  
She like, sends them to a spa together, gives them flowering plants with sexual implications, gives them projects to work on (fixing things)

 

 **cantarina**  
Nerys is all, "Keiko probably doesn't know what the significance of these flowers are, better not tell her, that would be awkward."

 

 **thingswithwings**  
meanwhile Keiko has done two weeks of intense research into Bajoran flower symbolism

 

 **cantarina**  
*angrily trimming stems* "I'm a botanist, you don't think I know my flower symbolism?"

 **epershand**  
kira: it is so weird how that flower just happens to be a highly specific fertility symbol. Weird and awkward and coincidental!

 

 **cantarina**  
Okay, but Kira, who has been brave and strong and I MUST MOVE ON how does she feel when Miles is, "Oh hey, me and Keiko and uh, Julian..."

 

 **thingswithwings**  
oh god she is FUCKING PISSED and she totally loses it. She yells at Miles, then gets embarrassed about it, then he's embarrassed about it

then she's getting drunk in Quark's & Julian stumbles in all happy innocent whistling & she starts questioning him & poking him in the chest and eventually Julian figures out what's she's drunkenly talking about and HE asks KEIKO about it and Keiko finally intervenes like, OKAY

 

 **cantarina**  
Yeah, I feel like Julian kinda had I'm-the-luckiest-man-alive stars in his eyes, but they have to work to woo Kira.

Poor Keiko. This is an excessive amount of intervening. But she probably is the first one Nerys kisses. So she has that to hold over the others forever.

 

 **thingswithwings**  
b/c it's SUPER clear that Nerys and Miles are both way too stubborn to ever figure this out without explicit guidance  
then, suddenly, it becomes a story about Keiko's explicit guidance (in the bedroom), and I took a turn there but I hope yall are with me

 

 **epershand**  
oh I am one hundred percent there. Keiko telling Julian and Nerys allll the best ways to handle Miles.... Julian, trust me, if you move your mouth just an INCH higher you're going to love the results...

 

 **cantarina**  
Miles protests that he feels ganged up on but he actually doesn't.

I feel like Julian and Nerys end up a little bit more on the queerplatonic side of things? But that doesn't mean they like each other less.

 

 **thingswithwings**  
I agree - they're sometimes in the same sex scenes but not for one another.

 

 **cantarina**  
They maybe surprise each other and themselves once and a while, but mostly, yes, it's exactly this.

 

And they all continued to occasionally miscommunicate and have banging hot sex.

The end.

**Author's Note:**

> I tried not to overthink what podfic to use to start this off and did very badly at it. In the end, Yue still had to talk me down. Was this podfic too obsure? Did that matter, given what the challenge is? I had two options that were ready to go and I picked the one I loved more and hoped that would set the tone. LISTEN AND SEE, AUDIENCE.


End file.
